Truer words have never been spoken. Did Mark Twain have me in mind when he wrote this...sometimes I think so! I tell everyone that I have a big mouth and an even bigger foot. If it is dumb and can be said, I will in fact, say it. I was just having this conversation with a group of girls and we were talking about the times we had to insert the proverbial foot into the mouth. I let them tell their stories and yes, they were all pretty embarassing and really funny. Then, it was my turn. I went through my list and without a doubt, unfortunately for me, I came off with the BIGGEST MOUTH award. For enjoyment at my expense, here are just a FEW examples:
-I worked with a guy whose wife was pregnant while I worked there. She was a petite person before but with pregnancy gained a TON of weight. She had the baby and a few months later I quit. I didn't see her for about a year and a half but I ran into her at Swiss Days. When I saw her she looked like she could EASILY be 7 or more months pregnant. So, having never made this fatal error before, the first thing I said to her when I saw her was "oh my goodness, you're pregnant"! As if that weren't bad enough - I RUBBED HER STOMACH! She looked at me and told me she wasn't pregnant. How do you recover from that?? I said a few things and left as quickly as I could.
-I went to school for Interior Design. On occasion, people who know this will call me and have me come over to look at a room and offer my advice. There is a really uptight couple (for lack of a better word) that sings with my dad in the Tabernacle Choir. They invited my family over for dinner one night and while I was there asked if I would give them some advice on a couple of their rooms. They had recently moved in and done some remodeling projects. They took me downstairs and were showing me around. I was under the impression that NO remodeling had been done in the basement. They took me into one room that was painted BRIGHT Pepto-Bismol pink. And not just one shade but TWO - we're talking every single wall and available space in the room was covered in pink! They open the door and the very first words out of my mouth were "THAT'S NOT EVEN A GOOD PINK" to which the man said "we just painted this room last week, it's her favorite color". Again, how do you recover from that???
-In High School I had a good friend whose brother and new wife were hit head on by a semi-truck and killed on the way back from their honeymoon. I knew this and sent a card. I hadn't seen my friend at school in a while and wanted to call and tell him I was thinking of him. So one day after school I called his house. Nobody answered the phone and the answering machine came on - not the digital kind but the old kind that records the message onto a tape and everyone within a mile can hear the message when you play it back. So the machine beeps and without really thinking about what I am saying, I leave my message: "Hey so and so, what's up - ARE YOU DEAD??? I was just calling to see if things were ok, call me when you have a chance." My friend never said anything about my message - thank heavens!