Wednesday, April 30, 2008

commando...

I think this is a hilarious story albeit perhaps a little too much information for some people - but I'm telling it none the less.

When I was pregnant with Annie, it never bothered me to wear my same garments the entire time I was pregnant. With this one, my regular ones got uncomfortable and so about 2 months ago I went and got a bigger size (I refuse to wear the maternity ones, they're AWFUL) and now the bigger sized ones are just way too uncomfortable. So, I'm not about to go out and buy even BIGGER ones for just a few weeks - so for the last 2 days I've been going commando!

I was dropping Annie off at my mother-in-laws house for a few hours yesterday while I went shopping for some baby things. I took Annie in the house and my mother-in-law says "well, don't you look cute" (she must really like me because I definitely didn't, but it was nice of her to say). I said something to the effect of "you're nice and lying but I just can't get used to going commando". She laughed and said that she thought I looked cute and a few minutes later I left.

Well, later that day I met my brother-in-law and sister-in-law for lunch. My brother-in-law saw me and started laughing. I said "what's so funny"? He said "my mom told me she thought you looked cute today and that maybe it was because you said you were going commando". My brother-in-law said "mom, do you even know what that means" and she said "no". So he said "that means she wasn't wearing any underwear". My mother-in-law was HORRIFIED at the thought!!!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

daily vent take five...

I haven't felt like cooking - so lately we've eaten out a lot. Consequently, I've gone through a lot of drive through window lines. This really isn't a big deal unless you and the person on the other end are having communication issues.

I realize that working at Wendy's doesn't and shouldn't require a college degree (or even high school degree), how hard can it be? But, I think working at a drive through window SHOULD require you to speak English - at least well enough to understand and be understood.

I realize I've been a little overly-ornery since I've been 9 months pregnant but I'm certain this would bother me pregnant or not.

I went to Wendy's and was ordering something and the lady on the other end could NOT understand what I was saying. So after literally 5 minutes of frustration, I finally asked to speak to someone who spoke English and could understand me. Funnily enough, she understood THAT and got mad at me. I didn't finish ordering because it was pointless anyway and drove to the window and told her that she was welcome to yell at me when she could do it in ENGLISH!!!!

I also hate it when you're at the drive through window and after every single thing you order they say "is that everything"? NO, it isn't! Why don't you wait until there are at least 5 seconds of silence before you ask me that? I'll have a cheeseburger. "Is that everything"? No, I'll also have a side of fries. "Is that everything"? No, I'll also have a Diet Coke "Is that everything"? NO for the love of Pete!!!!

she said...

This post is really mostly for me so I can remember all the funny little things that Annie has said lately.

-We were driving passed the site where they are building her new elementary school. They already have tractors and a bunch of equipment there digging and while we were driving by she said "mom, isn't that interesting that they have all the tractors parked next to the road"?

-Last night during family home evening Preston was giving the lesson about being a good helper and how Jesus was a good helper to his dad (we did this in preparation for the new baby). Anyway, right in the middle of his "lesson" Annie goes "Dad, stop. I'll give the lesson now". Then, she proceeded to tell us the Cinderella story. She goes "and Cinderella ran down the stairs and hence she lost her slipper". What kind of 3 year old says the word hence???

-If I'm in a bad mood or if I've gotten a little bit angry at her she'll say: "mom, sorry I did that", or "mom are you happy" or "mom can you smile at me" - and how can you be mad after that?

-Lately she loves to say the words: wonderful, awesome, oh my gosh, gracious.

-Some other words she says are: some-peen for something, plum for thumb, lawnd for wand, lello for yellow.

Friday, April 25, 2008

daily vent take four...

I know, it's amazing the amount of things I can come up with to complain about or to be bothered by!

There are those people who always have gum and those people who never do. I'm one of those people that never do. I wish I did, I like it. My favorite kind of gum is the Orbit Bubble Mint gum, it's delicious!

I appreciate anyone who is willing to share their gum supply with me, it's very thoughtful. BUT I am not one of those people who enjoys chewing a half stick of gum. I know people who ONLY chew half sticks and therefore only offer the other half.

Is it too much to ask to have a WHOLE stick???

Thursday, April 24, 2008

not looking good...

Well, any hope of me going into labor any time before my scheduled c-section on the 12th are fading away. I just had an ultrasound today to make sure the baby was growing properly (as if the enormous size of my stomach wasn't some indication that she is). The ultrasound technician said that everything looked good but that she wasn't anywhere near engaging in the birth canal. I guess I better wrap my head around the fact that I'm actually going to have a baby via c-section on May 12th - EEK!

On the bright side, they said the baby looked great. She was already upside down and backwards. They said she weighed 6 pounds 1 ounce right now and would probably weigh around 7 pounds when she was born. I can live with that!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

daily vent take three...

Preston doesn't call me anything, I'm lucky to get 10 words out of the guy once he gets home from work. But "pet names" for me are definitely not something he has a list of and uses. Come to think of it, how does he even get my attention???

That being said, if my HUSBAND doesn't even call me honey, what makes people think that I want them to call me honey? Especially when it is a younger person than me who is a waitress at a restaurant or a store clerk at the mall?

I went into Motherhood Maternity the other day - and mind you, I'm the size of a HOUSE. I was looking for something that would fit me and the clerk took it upon herself to escort me around the store and tell me what would look cute on me. Ok, first of all NOTHING looks cute on me right now and second, all the clothes she was picking out were ghastly! And as if having a personal shopper from hell wasn't bad enough, she kept on calling me 'honey'.

Is this a pregnancy thing or does it bother anyone else when random people call you honey?

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

birthday on the farm...

A few weeks ago Annie's cousin had a cow girl birthday party and they went to Thanksgiving Point and played around on the farm. I only wish I could get Annie to take a "normal" picture but they looked really cute anyway...

Monday, April 21, 2008

welcome to the republican party...

This is one of the most enlightening (and funniest) emails I've gotten in a long time...

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of "the redistribution of wealth."

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"

She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican party."

Friday, April 18, 2008

daily vent take two...

I'll admit, I'm not the most conscientious cell phone user in the world. I don't pull over to the side of the road while I'm talking and driving. I have an annoying ringtone that I let play a little too long because I like the song (The Fray - How to Save a Life). I screen EVERY number that I don't know and I'm awful at returning calls.

However, aren't there some common rules of courtesy that EVERYONE should abide by when it comes to cell phones? For those that have been living in a cave and are unsure as to what those rules might be, here they are as I see them (in no particular order)...

1. When you're in the gynecologists office, or any office for that matter, where the atmosphere is relatively quiet and your cell phone rings, if you choose to answer it, answer it quickly and tell the person on the other end that you'll call them back. DO NOT answer the phone and talk as loudly as you can. I promise we all don't care about your visit to the gynecologist and neither does the person on the phone that you're actually talking to.

2. This one seems to be a faux paux of the 50+ year old generation of women *cough mom*. Talking at the normal volume is adequate when you're on a cell phone. Why is it that some people are under the impression that because you're on a cell phone that you need to double or triple the volume at which you normally speak? Yelling into the phone doesn't make you more clear to the person on the other end and it annoys the people who are actually around you. I should also mention that this same rule applies to drive up windows - there is no need to yell your order.

3. There are those people who are constantly on the phone while you're out with them. A note of courtesy - if you're out with a friend or a group of friends, don't spend the entire time on the phone with other people. What's the point of going out? This also applies to texting. Just because you're not actually talking doesn't make it any more polite to sit and text with someone.

4. iPhones are cool, I get it. I would love to have one. But why is it that every single iPhone user I ever meet feels the need to show me every feature on the phone? If I want a tour of your phone, I'll ask - I promise!

5. And finally, cell phones in movie theaters. It should be obvious to everyone that it's annoying if your cell phone rings while everyone is watching a movie but NEWS FLASH...it's just as annoying to have the guy next to you texting during the ENTIRE movie! There is a light on your cell phone and it is distracting to see the blasted light come on every few minutes. Why did you bother paying to see the movie??? That dude owes me $8.50!

funny mitt...

Mitt Romney explains the Top 10 Reasons he dropped out of the Presidential race...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

scheduled...

So I have a c-section scheduled and I'm freaked out! I know, a little weird but when they made me sign all these papers that say "I understand that I am opting to have major surgery that could result in death, bleeding internally, having my uterus removed, needing a blood transfusion, yada yada yada, it doesn't instill much confidence or calm feelings in a person.

I think the worst part is that I have a choice. If the Doctor had said "you have to have a c-section" then I wouldn't be as nervous, but I got to choose - free agency SUCKS! So I'm still praying that I go into labor before my scheduled date.

The big day is Monday, May 12th at 6:00 a.m. - wish me luck!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

the clean energy scam...

I seriously doubt anyone is going to take the time to read this article in its entirety...but you should, it's VERY good! It says everything I have always thought and felt about bio-fuel and clean energy. And what's more impressive, it's in TIME MAGAINZE!!!

Someone remind me why anyone thought it was a good idea to power cars with a food source again???

Just a few highlights from the article...

"But several new studies show the biofuel boom is doing exactly the
opposite of what its proponents intended: it's dramatically accelerating
global warming, imperiling the planet in the name of saving it. Corn
ethanol, always environmentally suspect, turns out to be environmentally
disastrous.

Meanwhile, by diverting grain and oilseed crops from dinner plates to fuel
tanks, biofuels are jacking up world food prices and endangering the hungry. The
grain it takes to fill an SUV tank with ethanol could feed a person for a year.
Harvests are being plucked to fuel our cars instead of ourselves. The U.N.'s
World Food Program says it needs $500 million in additional funding and
supplies, calling the rising costs for food nothing less than a global
emergency.

Deforestation accounts for 20% of all current carbon emissions. So unless the
world can eliminate emissions from all other sources--cars, power plants,
factories, even flatulent cows--it needs to reduce deforestation or risk an
environmental catastrophe. That means limiting the expansion of agriculture, a
daunting task as the world's population keeps expanding. And saving forests is
probably an impossibility so long as vast expanses of cropland are used to grow
modest amounts of fuel. The biofuels boom, in short, is one that could haunt the
planet for generations--and it's only getting started.

The lesson behind the math is that on a warming planet, land is an incredibly
precious commodity, and every acre used to generate fuel is an acre that can't
be used to generate the food needed to feed us or the carbon storage needed to
save us. "


To read the article in it's entirety, please visit:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1725975-1,00.html

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

lately...

I feel like I am trying to infect other people with my bad attitude lately. I'm not trying to have a bad attitude but it seems that everything is bothering me or irritating me these days and so I share that feeling with everyone around me. I figure if I bother enough people, they will start praying for me to go into labor and eventually all those prayers will reach heaven and I will. I think it's a good way to go about it.

Monday, April 14, 2008

my latest love affair...

That's right, I'm having an affair with TJ Maxx! For those of you who think I've suddenly lost 100 pounds and become a lot more attractive, I'm talking about the store, not some dude.

It seems every time I go there I find just what I am looking for (and some things I'm not) at FABULOUS prices! I can even justify the purchases because they are technically "on sale".

Just today I went there and found some pillows for my bed, Disney SceneIt and some pillowcases. If Annie hadn't been ready to go and Preston waiting for me in the parking lot, I'm sure I could have come away with a lot more loot. My baby also has a brand new wardrobe almost entirely from TJ Maxx.

Like I said, I'm in love!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

so smart...

I'm so smart - seriously, I am. If I was driving behind myself when I did this, I would have yelled at me. So I'm pulling out of my neighborhood and the road curves to the right. There is no turn, no stop sign, no OTHER way to go - the road just curves. So what do I do??? When I got to the curve in the road I stopped completely and turned on my blinker! There was a guy outside who just looked at me like "what is this lady doing"? Once I came to my senses I wondered the same thing and drove on. I blame this on pregnancy!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

daily vent take one...

If I actually vent about something daily, does that mean that I have to say something positive and constructive also because if it does, that is just way too much effort and I don't feel like being cheery all the time (or ever lately).

Here is my vent for the day...

I went to WalMart today *stop the conversation and back up*...I HATE WalMart. Hate isn't even a strong enough word, loathe is more like it. I will go to every other store in the state for something I need before I set foot in WalMart. I think a requirement to work there is an IQ of less than 30 and I feel the same way about people who shop there regularly (sorry, but I unapologetically do). Anyway, for whatever reason my IQ momentarily dropped below 30 today and I went there for these bins that I needed and knew they had.

I went in, headed straight for where I thought the bins would be (but weren't), looked around, grabbed them and made a b-line for the nearest check stand. I didn't want to be in there longer than was absolutely necessary. When I got to the check stands there were only 2 or 3 that were open along with 3 self checkout lanes. The lines for the "regular" checkout were way too long so I stepped into the self checkout line - there was only one person in it afterall, and they were almost finished.

Ok, so I know you think my vent is about WalMart and it could be - but it's not.

My vent is about STUPID people who use the self checkout lines but have absolutely NO IDEA what they are doing or any idea how to manage a computer. So I'm behind this guy who has 3 things left of the conveyor belt and a whopping 20 minutes later finally managed to finalize his purchase. Are you kidding me??? Why did I stay in line so long? You know how you wait thinking "surely he'll catch on and speed up" or "he only has 1 more thing, how long can it take". And then, after 5 minutes you're invested in the line and you figure it's bound to be your turn at any moment. NOT the line I was in!

Dear man in line ahead of me: touching the computer screen over and over again isn't going to solve your problems, staring blankly into the monitor won't work either. There is a correct and incorrect way to insert cash, please look at the little cartoon picture of George Washington and figure it out. Trying the same thing over and over again won't eventually work. When you get your change back, look for the big red sign that says "change here" and pull your money out. Don't spend 5 minutes looking the machine over to try and find it. It is an automated system, if you'd just listen or actually READ the instructions, you'd know what to do. Please for the love of Heaven and Earth, don't use a self checkout line again until you're familiar with the English language and have the mental capacity to actually follow its instructions.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

so hard...

Why does being a parent have to be so hard sometimes? First let me say, and I know I'm a little biased on this one, but Annie is one of the sweetest little souls I've ever met. She is always concerned with how other people are feeling or if people are happy. She is always trying to make sure everyone is doing well - and she just tries SO HARD to be good and make good choices. You can literally see her thinking things through in that sweet little head of hers. Sometimes I feel like I won't let her just be 3 because I expect so much from her and I feel like I treat her like she should be acting like a 6 or 7 year old - which she does most of the time.

It would be a lot more fun for me to buy Annie everything she wanted, never have consequences for anything and clean up all of her toys for her and just let her enjoy being a kid. I am afterall, trying to give her the most pleasant and exciting childhood I possibly can and I want her to remember it that way too. I am also trying to shape her into a good and responsible adult and I know that process comes one step at a time and most of the time, that part of the "journey" isn't always fun.

So last night she was actually acting like a 3 year old and wouldn't clean up her toys before bed. Preston asked her a zillion times to clean them up and she just wasn't having it. I've done this before so she knows that if mom or dad clean up her toys they go in the garbage can - we've thrown many a toy away. Well, it just so happens that yesterday she played with ALL of her favorite toys so they were the ones laying all around her room and consequently the ones she wouldn't pick up. So after the 100th time of asking, Preston finally went and got the garbage can and started tossing in toys hoping that she would freak out and start picking them up - but she didn't. So Preston finally finished picking up her toys and the garbage can was overflowing at the top and Annie just layed on her floor and cried. BREAK MY HEART! On the very top of the pile was her "lamby"- one of her favorite toys.

This morning when she woke up and came into my room she was holding her lamby and was practically in tears. I asked her what was wrong and she started crying and said "mom I'm just so sad, my lamby had to sleep in the garbage can last night".


Monday, April 7, 2008

death & taxes...

What if death is actually caused by filing your taxes? I finally finished doing our taxes this morning and I was pretty sure I was going to DIE. This is the first time I've ever done them by myself (well almost by myself, I had a lot of help from my dad - thanks dad), but it was scary! Thankfully we're getting a little money back because if we weren't filing taxes would be even WORSE! I just can't belive I waited this long to actually do them. I always used to judge people who put it off this long - but alas, I did but at least we're done!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

global climate change...

I think if you've read my blog in the past you know my feelings on 'global warming', but in case you don't - my opinion: GLOBAL WARMING IS COMPLETE CRAP!

Recently however, I've heard the term 'global warming' referred to more and more as 'global climate change'. Well, isn't that a convenient phrase...who can argue that the climate changes? I think any idiot would tell you that sometimes it's warmer and sometimes it's colder.

I could actually get on board with the whole 'global warming' scheme if it wasn't all about making and and spending money and if it were more about conservation, but it's not. Please tell me how buying a spiral, fluorescent light bulb is actually going to make one shred of difference? Studies have shown that if EVERYONE replaced ALL of their light bulbs with the spirally kind, it still wouldn't make a difference. What about good old fashioned recycling, that actually works!

And what about buying carbon credits? That is a wonderful idea. Big corporations who actually produce a large 'carbon footprint' can buy carbon offsets because they are wealthy corporations. While me, the Average Joe has to pay more for a bag of corn because some HUGE company can afford to buy the offsets and not change a thing and because some pompous liberal wants to drive an ethanol powered Prius? That makes perfect sense!

What about cows? They put more carbon monoxide into the air than ALL the cars in the world combined - I think we should kill all the cows. Ironically, I betcha Prius driving vegetarians who refuse to eat meat because of the inhumane treatment of cows would actually get on board with that idea if you slapped a carbon free sticker on it's hiney first.

At least the media is unbiased on the subject. I mean, NBC did send 3 anchors and 3 separate news crews to 3 different parts of the world on 3 different, private jets just to show the horrific effects of 'global climate change' during their "green week" special broadcasting. I hope you felt an emotional tug at your heart strings when you thought about all the damaging effects YOU were having on the environment. I mean, you're practically killing the polar bears yourself. Nevermind the massive amounts of carbon NBC itself put out there in that week alone just to bring you those emotional stories.

At least the climate can get back to "normal" once a democrat is in office, the Republicans are after all, the main culprits in 'global climate change'. And here I thought Mother Nature was bi-partisan!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

human pregnancy test...

I don't know what to call it ESP or intuition, but I ALWAYS know when people are pregnant. I've known BOTH times my sister-in-law was pregnant before she ever got sick or announced anything. Also there was this girl in my last ward and BOTH times she was pregnant, I knew it! I don't know how to explain it, I can just tell.

Is this a gift? Maybe, if I can find a way to make some money.

That being said, there are 3 people I talk to or see on a semi-regular basis that I have a sneaking suspision about and given my track record I'd be surprised if I was wrong. Now, I won't go so far as to name names (YET) but if you'd like to take this opportunity to share some information, far be it for me to stop you!!! Oh, and just to get the ball rolling...hey everyone, I'm pregnant!

book tag...

I've been book tagged. This is a new tag for me, so I thought I'd try it out.

The instructions for this tag are as follows:

1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages)
2. Turn to page 123
3. Find the 5th sentence
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog
5. Tag 5 people

The closest book to me was Glenn Beck's 'An Inconvenient Book'.

"The narrator ominously said, "The phone number to an adult fantasy hotline appeard on Michael Arcuri's New York City hotel room bill...while he was there on official business...who calls a fantasy hotline and then bills the taxpayers?"

I'm tagging Marcie, Brittney, Melissa, Samantha and Danica!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

it's my blog...

...so I can complain right??? I am SO DONE being pregnant!!! I only have about 5 weeks left but I feel like I've been pregnant for about 3 years. I just don't remember being this uncomfortable with Annie. I don't sleep, I can't bend over, I never want to do anything, everything aches, I am fat as a house and I'm SO irritable.

Seriously, babies born at 34 weeks turn out just fine - so everyone pray that mine comes out ASAP so that I can just be finished!!!