Sunday, June 1, 2008

daily vent take six...

NURSING!

I could just say "enough said" and those of you who have experienced the HELL that is nursing would know exactly what I'm talking about I'm sure, but I have to vent my frustrations...

When I get to the other side, whether it be somewhere way down deep or way up high, I have a bone to pick with God.

First of all, there is a serious design flaw in these things we call 'bosoms'. If the intent was always to have a baby suck milk out of them, shouldn't He have given women rubber (or steel) nipples???

Second, if women have to be pregnant, shouldn't the men have to do SOMETHING? I mean, we get 9 months of discomfort and pain, not to mention labor and delivery - and then weeks of recovery. Couldn't He at least have given the men the ability to lactate?

Third, He's God, He can do anything! So please tell me why when you sacrifice yourself to nurse your baby, do the 'sisters' head South when you're finished? Why couldn't He have engineered them to head North instead? It's not like the 9 months of pregnancy doesn't already send everything else headed South anyway - at least cut us a break SOMEWHERE!

Finally, I realize there is formula and technically, I don't HAVE to do this. But if that is the case then why in heaven's name did God invent lactation specialists to make everyone feel guilty for not doing it? Pick one God, either lactation specialists or formula!

*Mother of the Year Confession* The one and only reason I am even nursing my child is not for the health benefits, not for the increased brain capacity, certainly not for the satisfaction but SOLELY for the rapid weight loss I am experiencing!!!

8 comments:

Brittany said...

AMEN! I didn't have much luck with nursing either! I could go on and on and on again about all the problems I experienced! I say if you feel the need to quit, don't feel guilty! I think there needs to be a anti-nursing support group that you can call or something! Better yet, call me and I will be your support group!

The Dabo's said...

Wow you just make me even more excited to have another baby. Sweet.

Johnsons said...

I couldn't agree with you more, and I am so sorry you are having problems nursing. I always have problems too. With Wyatt I think that I probably should have had stitches, that is how bad it got. I stuck with it for my first two, and then with Walker I only lasted five weeks. I met with lactation specialists and everything, but it was so painful that I dreaded nursing, and I was started to get very impatient with my other kids, so I finally decided that I could either give breast milk, or I could be a loving patient mom, and I chose the second. I did feel guilty for a long time though. I am convinced that those women that are so for it, and make everyone else feel guilty, have never had the problems we have had. Good luck, I hope it gets easier for you.

Kerri said...

I'll be in that support group! We were totally separated at birth!!

The Gould Family said...

You are so funny!! I agree completely!!

estinger said...

I LOVE the idea of an anti-nursing support group! Better yet, I should call myself a formula consultant and see if I can get hospitals to hire me instead of the stupid lactation specialists!

Ashby said...

LOL! You crack me up! I do it for the rapid weight loss too.

I've come to a conclusion that nursing isn't for everyone. On the flip side, my beef with bottle feeding is watching the money go down the drain when the baby doesn't finish a whole bottle. It's as painful as sore nipples! If it didn't cost so much I'd probably bottle feed too.

Oh, and just as a side note, whether you nurse or bottle-feed, the sisters will head south either way. That's why God invented plastic surgeons!

Andrea said...

Formula consultant! I love it! When and where is the support group meeting? Café Rio?