Wednesday, February 9, 2011

why do you work here?

Have you ever noticed that at most stores you go to the employees are ineffectual and unknowledgeable at best? Home Depot, Costco, WalMart and Roberts are the first ones that come to mind but I'm sure if I thought about it for a two seconds more, I could come up with a longer list.

The other day I went to Roberts and I asked one of the workers if they had a certain item. She says "I don't even know what that is". Fair enough. But then she says "I'll try to find it". Which at first doesn't sound like terrible customer service except she proceeds to walk up and down the aisles while I'm following behind her like a hungry puppy. All the while I'm thinking "I could have done this". Why didn't she just say "I don't know" and move on instead of wasting my time by walking me up and down all the wrong aisles?

I don't feel like a complete imbecile in a home improvement store. I'm certainly not a contractor or a handyman but I know what most of the general things are. How come every time I go into Home Depot I can NEVER seem to find anyone that works there? And, on the off chance I finally do find someone it seems that I know more than they do? One time I went to get some sprinkler parts - I admit to being a complete dummy about anything sprinkler related. So after about 30 minutes I finally found someone walking around in an orange apron and asked them my sprinkler related question. They didn't know and had to track down the guy that worked in the sprinkler department. When I got home I had completely the wrong part and had to go all the way back because Preston was up to his elbows in dirt. When I got back and couldn't find someone a second time, I finally just asked some dude who was buying sprinkler parts who looked like he knew what he was doing. Only then did I get what I needed.

If you know me well, you know I hate WalMart. I have nothing good to say about them and avoid shopping there on principal unless I absolutely have to. Little side vent, I hate it when people say they hate WalMart but then shop there like twice a week. If you hate it, DON'T shop there! I digress. I hate WalMart for so many reason, the least of which isn't the people who work there. Talk about ineffectual employees! I swear that on more than one occasion I have asked someone a question only to have them stare at me blankly and continue on with what they were doing - without saying anything. The one time I did get good service I was at the gun counter buying ammunition and the dude knew everything there was to know! I'm not sure whether to be grateful or a little bit scared.

I feel like it's almost blasphemous to say anything bad about Costco because I love it so much. I do not however, love their employees so much! Is it just me or do all the employees seem really self involved and bothered if they have to help you? And it seems like it's everyone: the cashiers, the floor workers and especially the customer service/returns people. Maybe it's just the Lehi Costco or maybe it's just me or maybe I'm just so focused on the idiots driving the carts that I fail to notice any nice employees, but I've yet to find one.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

i'm standing here, you don't mind do you?

I find it interesting the ways people find to impose themselves on other people. There are the obvious and common things like talking too loudly on your cell phone in a restaurant, taking too many groceries through the express line at the grocery store or texting during a movie at the theater. But probably what bugs me more than the little irritating things that happen all the time are the smaller, less frequent things that you can't get away from.

I'm not a frequent wearer of cologne and maybe I'm annoying and stink all the time but I can't decide if it's worse to stink all the time or smell like you bathed in cologne twice before you left the house. It seems like the worst offenders are little old ladies who are out for a night on the town. Maybe it's that their sense of smell has gone south and so they just keep putting it on and putting it on or maybe the older the perfume gets, the more pungent it gets? In a close race for second on the worst offenders list are teenage boys. It's almost like they think they'll be better looking if the whole world can smell them from 6 miles away.

I've never understood wind chimes. Is it that you really need to know when the wind is blowing? Was it the only souvenir you could find to bring back from your trip to Kansas? Do you enjoy torturing your neighbors? I'm not trying to be funny, someone please explain them to me? If you like the sound of the chimes so much, why put them outside for everyone else to "enjoy"? Why not hang them in your house near a ceiling fan or an open window and experience the full range of their resonance for yourself?

The reason I don't have a dog is because I don't want to have to clean up after it. That's the ONLY reason! The second only reason is because I don't want to have to listen to it bark during all hours of the day and night. What is the polite way to say, "shut your dog up or I'll cut out its voice box"?